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Ra Ta Taaa
May. 31st, 2009
01:23 am - Milk
So I just finished watching Milk right now. Amazing movie. I mean.. Sean Penn absolutely deserved that Oscar for it. Fantastic stuff. I think it really upset me. And it was more than the movie that upset me. It was the thought that about 40 years after Harvey Milk was fighting for everything he believed in - we are still discussing it in a way that is completely negative. It was the 70s when he lost his life for what? For being who he was. He lost his life because he didn't fit the mould. He wasn't what Christian society claims he should be. Let's be honest - how many people fit the mould any more? Why is there even still a mould? But fact of the matter is, after all this time, we are STILL having this discussion. We are still withholding rights from the gay community. Welcome proposition 8. It makes me so angry that in all these years nothing has changed. It's still the belief that hetrosexuality is "correct" and homosexuality is "wrong". For whatever reason it's OK for heterosexuals to get married, have children, treat their children like crap, get divorced and do it all again. Of course I am exaggerating for good measure. But it is NOT ok for two homosexuals to show they love each other by getting married. Now my question is who are these people that are voting AGAINST this stuff? How do we have more people voting against it than we do voting for it?
When president Obama was elected it was a movement. Record number of people went to vote - more minorities and first time voters than they had ever seen before. Why? Because people finally believed in something. They finally saw someone who understood them and who truly had their interest at heart. This man was a part of something bigger than the democrats coming back into the white house. It was bigger than the recession. It was a movement towards the future. This is the kind of movement we need to have in the world with regards to equality. For the first time ever African Americans are looking at their nation and they see themselves. When as late as the 60s/70s racism was in full swing in America. When just a few decades before that African Americans were SLAVES. And here we sit in 2009 and the president of the world superpower is African American. Yet we still can't allow two people who are of the same gender to profess their love to each other so that the State recognizes it? We can build nuclear bombs and potentially destroy the world. We can create such an advanced technological network that privacy is no longer existant. We can elect an African American president however we cannot allow homosexuals to get married. Why? What are we so afraid of? Two people in love, how does this hurt us?
Let's take the argument of God for a second. God is going to be "upset" at this unorthodox union. I'm sure God is also going to be upset that we're killing each other for no apparent reason. I'm sure God is also going to be upset with the Adultry - isn't that one of the commandments? Or how about do unto others as they do unto you - I'm pretty sure God's going to be upset that we're killing a bunch of innocent kids in Iraq as I'm pretty sure you're not doing unto them as they're doing unto you. They don't tell you this part but in the book I've read it also says that God is forgiving which is why he's almighty. Maybe God did say love is meant to be between a man and a woman. Maybe that is what was naturally intended. However God does not make laws. The state makes laws. And a long time ago - a LONG time ago the Western world made the decision that religion and state were not going to be one. So why are we allowing God to dictate this one law when he doesn't dictate any others.
Like I said - this movie upset me. It upset me that after all this time we are still where we started. People still don't have the equality they deserve. Sure we've come a long way.. however we haven't come far enough if this is still a debate. Gay men and women should be allowed to get married. Proposition 8 is bullshit. We should fight for equality for EVERYONE. And I think it's time for the younger generation to stand up and speak. I truly believe it is this generation who played a large role in electing such a radical president. It is time we stood up and spoke for what we believe in. I am lucky that here in Canada Gay Rights is much more liberal than in the States. However it shouldn't be where you live that dictates whether you can marry the one you love. Let's move on and start fighting what we should actually be fighting - like crime, and violence; not working so hard making sure love doesn't prevail.
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aggravatedMay. 11th, 2009
11:31 pm - :D
I'm good.
I'm busy like hell
I'm tired because of work.
But I'm so good. Happy. Really happy.
Feb. 16th, 2009
01:50 pm - i will post a real one after this i promise.
Be honest, who texted you last?
a rep. the story of my life.
What was going through your head on your last kiss?
"How cute is that guy."
What exciting event is coming up?
LIFE is fucking exciting ok.
This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
yep! the same guy i like now!
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
i'd like to think so.
Do you have feelings for anyone?
Yes
How late did you stay up last night?
mmm 1ish?
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
oh probably family.
What will you be doing in 3 hours?
probably sitting right here.. DAY OFF!
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours?
yes
What are you listening to?
the tv
Any plans for tomorrow?
work.
Whats on your bed?
a whole buncha shit..
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
nope
Have you ever kissed someone under fireworks?
nope.
Do you like Valentine's Day?
I hate it too!!! I mean i've learnt to stand it because when I'm with someone i get CANDY! But the whole premise behind it is pretty dumb. I don't think people should have a commercially driven day to tell the person they're with that they're special. It needs to move beyond that.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
exactly what i'm doing right now.. NOTHING
Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a N?
hmmm. i don' tthink so.
Can you whistle?
not so much
Who was the last guy you talked to, not family?
Peter
Have you ever been called heartless?
probably. I get called a lot of things.
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
oh there have been times. i prefer verbal abuse though.
Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
oh absolutely.
Has anyone ever told you they love you?
yes
Is there anyone that hates you right now?
who knows who cares.
Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
yeah i thikn so.
Do you laugh alot?
Yeah I do.
Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
depends on the season.
Nice to meet you, I'm:
aleena
Your current relationship status?
in a relationship
When' s the next time you' ll see your closest friend?
sometime soon i'm sure
Last time you talked to your number one?
i don't know who that is!
Are you happy?
I am.
How do you feel?
pretty ok
Who can you blame for your bad mood today?
i'm not in a bad mood!
Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
it's not a waste of time at all
Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
top friends my asss.. lol kiddidng
When did your last hug take place?
um i don't even know. yesterday? day before yesterday?
Want someone or something you can't have?
being a millionaire
Are you thinking of someone right now?
no actually
Do you want to see anyone?
sure why not
Are promises important to you?
sure.. but it doesn't always work out the way you want
How many piercings?
just ears
Are you stubborn?
very
Did anything "cute" happen today?
um. not particularly
Have you had a friend for many years and then they left just like that?
yes.
What were you doing at 1 am this morning?
sleeping
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
why the hell not
Are you happy with your life?
yeah, I am
If you could go back in time, would you?
no
This time last year, do you remember who you were dating?
same person i'm dating rightn ow
Ever liked anyone on your top friends?
yeah
Anything bothering you?
meh. i'm over it
If you could have anything, what would it be?
all the success in the world
Are you dating the very last person you kissed?
yes
Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
nope!
When did you last go to the beach?
in the summer
Do you sleep on your stomach?
sure
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
i don't know i haven't taken a photo with someine in ages
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
yes! halloween!
Do you have texting?
absolutely
Do you trust ALL of your friends?
my best friends, yes
Does anyone like/love you?
Yes
Who was the first person you talked to today?
my sister
What were you doing at 11 last night?
watching confessoins of a shopaholic
What was the first thing you did when you woke up this morning?
looked at my phone
Are you any good at math?
Not so much
Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trust?
yeah
How late did you stay up last night and why?
1ish.. and for no real reason
Feb. 1st, 2009
12:57 am
I feel weird. I don't know why I'm just feeling weird. Sometimes I just don't know what is going on with me you know. Like I'm so different from what I was even a year ago that I don't know what to do with myself. I'm just so tired and want stuff to happen and am trying to be super patient but I want to see how things turn out you know. I'm so different now for real - I'm not really into the party scene anymore and I can't go out and drink everynight it's just not my thing but I don't know.. life is crazy you know and I really want things to happen
patience.
I've got it I promise..
Nov. 5th, 2008
02:19 pm - Finally..
I gotta give you props America .. after 8 years.. you finally made the RIGHT CHOICE!
I'm proud. Like a proud momma.
Nov. 1st, 2008
11:35 pm - Woo
Happy belated halloweeeeeen!!!!!!!
I hope everyone had some spooky fun.
My weekend's been this giant rollercoaster ride from EXTREME highs to retarded lows. Works been.. a bitch.. to say the least and it all sort of came to a head this weekend and to be honest I don't want to talk about it because I took all evening to get OVER it.. so I just want to let bygones be bygones and cry about it to my boss on Monday when I tell her how irritated I am with life. Two more months girl - two more months. That's all I tell myself. Plus Ben Affleck and David Cook are on SNL - what could make a girl happier? Well Ben being HERE - but let's be realistic.
Other than the fact that work sucks ass and consumes my life Halloween night itself was pretty awesome. I had gotten this AMAZING hotel room for SUPER cheap right in downtown Toronto and the original plan was have dinner with Peter then head to my buddy's Byron's birthday at the bar. Here's the thing - Byron and I have had a bit of a ... history.. when Peter and I were not so official. Peter does not know of said history. Byron and I haven't been hanging out as much as we did last year so we haven't really talked of late - and Byron doesn't know that Peter's now my boyrfiend. Sooo that was bound to be an interesting evening to begin with. But what ENDED UP happening.. is we ended up downtown at 9ish - got to the restaurant by 9:30 - finished dinner by 10:30 - were COMPLETELY sober and freaking tired. Had already seen how beautiful the hotel and hotel room was.. and that's all I could think about lol. Called up some buddies at the party who said that they hadn't even left yet - 11:30 rolls around and I'm getting more tired than drunk - and Peter and I decided partying is not for us so we went to the hotel room and spent the night watching tv and relaxing. It was actually pretty damn amazing.
Ok my battery's dying so I'm outtaaa here!
Have a great night
May. 4th, 2008
10:41 pm - Isn't it ironic.. don't you think..
Life is really really ironic.
It's scary how you know certain people inside and out so much such that certain aspects of said individuals actually makes you want to stay away from them sometimes. I love my friends, but I know them way too well. I know the good, the bad and the ugly. The ugly, is a little ugly sometimes. And its those things that you just overlook for the sake of the friendship.
I don't know what the deal with me is. I guess I expect A LOT out of people and wonder when I get the short end of the stick. You gotta do stuff yourself if you're gonna do it right I guess.
On the flip side, life is wonderful. Work is going well. Its really busy and sorta in "experimentation" mode. I love my job, love the company, and also love how busy I am. I'm a workaholic, everyone knows it. Things with the man have never been better. Well.. something pretty shitty happened in his life - and he's going through a lot of things - but we are doing really amazing and I think I'm really lucky to have someone like him in my life. Someone I can trust and trusts me. We're involving each other in a lot of things now including the future. I know. That's a first.
But all in all, life's good.
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complacentDec. 11th, 2007
11:40 pm - Sexy.
I'm reading this book.. in which I read an amazing quote talking about soul mates:
" 'He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit and thats what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates they come into your life just to reveal anothe rlayer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for that.' "
Oh how wonderfully insightful. And how that book read my mind.
Oct. 17th, 2007
05:10 pm
you know how i said i can't do this anymore.. well.. i can't do this anymore. i'm fucked. like. hardcore raped and fucked till you can't walk kind of fucked. im in a situation i don't know how to get out of. i have been working like a crazy woman nonstop with full time school for seven months. i know can you believe it.. its been seven months. my grades have dropped. i barely have a relationship. i'm tired all the time. i haven't taken care of myself in seven months. what do i have to show for it? my bank account? who the fuck cares. the big guys aren't evevn hiring me. who the fuck cares. i have an exam in an hour but all i want to do is lie here.. and just not leave.
this needs to end.
Oct. 10th, 2007
10:40 pm
So here's the deal. We've gone way past the crash stage and I'm heading into the burn stage. I can feel it. I can feel the exhaustion just killing me to the extent that I really don't care about anything at this point in time. All I want to do is sleep. Mmm sleep. I miss sleep. I miss not having anything to worry about. I miss lazy afternoons curled up in bed with someone watching tv. I'm not going to sit here and get all soppy about how shitty my life is. My life is wonderful. I have plenty of jobs, I have great family, I have friends that love me and I'm sitting here complaining about how exhausted I am. I just need for the stress to end at least for five minutes so I can relax and not worry about stuff that doesn't concern me. I've taken on far too much. More than I can really handle. It's not going well. I just want it to end soon. End so I can sleep. I tend to do the stupid thing and chase away people who are important to me when I feel this way. Lets hope that doesn't happen. Lets hope it just ends soon.
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tiredSep. 11th, 2007
06:09 pm - And here we goo...
Soooo it has begun. Year four of the best and the worst four years of my life. What has it taught me? Oh a hell of a lot. So let's reminisce shall wel.. I've learnt that life's full of surprises. Nothing ever works out the way you expect it to work out. Expectations are overrated. Goals, however, are not. I flaked by way through the first two years of school. And then it hit me. I need goals. A relationship is not a goal, it's a comfort. It's part of the experience - but it isn't THE experience. I needed to understand that, learn that, and as soon as I did I realized what being ambitious was. And then it began. Work work and more work. The hard work gives me a rush. Being busy, making money, not having time to sleep, gives me a rush. Yes, I'm a workaholic, I've admitted it on many an occasion. But it's fun.
I'm hoping things will only get better, life will make some sense, settle down a bit. But until then I'll enjoy my six hours of sleep, plus work, plus work number two, plus at times work number three, plus school, plus my friends, plus peter.
After all, it keeps life interesting.
Aug. 24th, 2007
09:34 pm
summer 'O7, don't lie.
1. Kissed your ex.?
Nope.
2. Told someone I love you?
My friends!
4. Wanted someone you couldn't have?
Nope. I'm doing alright in that department
5. been to the beach?
I can't really remember.. hmm. i guess that's a no.
6. Got drunk?
Most certainly
7. smoked?
Yes. More than usual!
8. Stayed up all night?
I'm sure
9. Went shopping?
Obviously.
10. went swimming?
Yes.
11.been asked out?
Yeah.
13. Got in a car with a stranger?
Yes kind of!
14. Lost someone close?
Hm. Kind of.
15. Slept in someone else's bed?
Yes.
16. Had someone sleep in your bed?
There was definitely no sleeping involved.
17. Been to a club?
Yes.
18. Been grounded?
I live on my own.
19. Ran?
Yeah for a bus!
20. Regret something?
Don't believe in it.
21. Lied?
Sure did
22. done anything against the law?
Probably.
23. Got into a fight?
Not really
24.sang in a car with the windows down?
Yes
25. Stayed in a hotel?
No
26. Flirted with someone?
Hello. Of course.
27. Gone to a concert?
No I havent!
28. Snuck out?
Of my own house?
29. Started liking something you would have never of thought to like?
Not really
30. Made out in a theatre?
No. Weird!
32. Met a celebrity?
Yes. Eric Bana yesterday!!! sooo cute.
33. Started to like someone?
More like still like someone
34. kissed same sex?
No.
35. threw up?
Nope
36. broke someones heart?
I don't think so.
37. LIKE SOMEONE THAT JUST WONT STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD?
Yes.
38.gotten in trouble with the cops?
No.
40. fell asleep with a crush?
Yes.
42. wrecked a car?
No.
43. got fired from a job?
No.
44. went to a different state or country?
The U.S
45. Was this summer the best out of the rest of your summer's?
Nah. Last summer was pretty damn awesome. But this summer wasn't too bad!
Jul. 8th, 2007
12:03 am - yep
Hate That I Love You lyrics by Rihanna
featuring Ne-Yo
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you
And I can’t stand ya
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile
No.. but you won’t let me
You upset me girl, then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did
Well I hate it
You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong
Girl, I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so..
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me
That’s how much I love you
How much I need you
That’s how much I need you
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you
And I hate that I love you so--
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so.. so..
Jun. 27th, 2007
05:32 pm - The story of my life
Happiness & Disaster - Stabilo
You couldn’t find two people more
Different on the shores of love
And wading in together is dangerous
'Til she grabs you by the wrist
Disarms you with a kiss, and you
Forget about the angry shadows hanging
Round your neck
But we’re giving it all anyway
Though it may be a mistake
We’re swimming between the waves of
Happiness and disaster
And I don’t know any other way than to
Live just for the day
Then let the shadows come
And carry me away
We’re floating in between the stars
As I’m kissing all your scars
That made you beautiful and strong
And me not relate
When we finally wake up, after coming down
You’ll find the angry shadows have tied
Me to the ground
But we’re giving it all anyway
Though it may be a mistake
We’re swimming between the waves of
Happiness and disaster
And I don’t know any other way than to
Live just for the day
Then let the shadows come
And carry me away
We’re never far from the battle
And you never shine in my shadow
No we’re never far from the battle
And you never shine in my shadow
Now we’re finally finding out
What we got ourselves into
But we’re giving it all anyway
Though it may be a mistake
We’re swimming between the waves of
Happiness and disaster
And I don’t know any other way than to
Live just for the day
Then let the shadows come
And carry me away
Jun. 7th, 2007
Apr. 27th, 2007
07:28 pm - bored.
1. What do you say when you're trying not to curse?
i don't try not to curse.. i curse! it's a good system.
2. Do You Own An Ipod?
yes maam
3. What Person On Your Top friends Do You Talk To The Most?
hmmmmmmmm. i do'nt talk to people. i'm a bitch like that.
4. What Time Is Your Alarm Clock Set To?
right now, 8 am
5. Who do you want to fall in love with?
someone who keeps me on my toes.
6. Do You Wear Flip-Flops When It's Cold?
when im walking short distances.
7. Would You Rather Take The Picture Or Be In The Picture?
both
8. What Was The Last Movie You Watched?
disturbia
9. Do Any Of Your Friends Have Children?
nope
10. Has Anyone Ever Called You Lazy?
peter, like, two minutes ago
11. Do You Ever Take Medication To Help You Fall Asleep?
no
12. What Cd Is Currently In Your Cd Player?
cd player! aren't those extinct?
13. chocolate or regular milk?
LOL. chocolate. long story.
14. Has Anyone Told You A Secret This Week?
yes
15. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks?
a long time ago.. when i was in arizona?
16. Can You Whistle?
yes
17. Do You Have A Trampoline In Your Back Yard?
no but that would be sweeeet.
18. Do You Think People Talk about you behind your back?
probably.. women are jerks like that
19. Did You Watch Cartoons As A Child?
of course!
20. What Movie Do You Know Every Line To?
beauty and the beast, and the forty year old virgin. great combo
21. What's your favorite store?
i don't knooooowwwww.. everystore in the WORLD!
22. What's your best physical feature?
smile? maybe?
23. Do You Own Any Band T-Shirts?
aerosmith, the stones, and lifehouse
24. What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?
sundried tomato.. ohhhh man
25. Do you think that anybody's in love with you?
who knows
26. Do You Do Your Own Dishes?
yes
27. Ever Cry In Public?
probably.
30. Do you think you could ever be gay or bisexual?
i.. really love the penis.
31. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos?
yes.
32. What Did You Do Before This?
worked
33. When Was The Last Time You Slept On The Floor?
hmmm.. i don't remember.. probably last summer at some point. or sometime this year, who knows.
34. How Many Hours Of Sleep Do You Need To Function?
five.
35. Do You Eat Breakfast Daily?
nope
36. Are Your Days Full And Fast Paced?
usually
37. What are you doing right now?
trying not to fall asleep
38. Do you use sarcasm?
YES!
39. Have You Ever Been in a Fight?
yes
40. Are You Picky About Spelling And Grammar?
meh
41.Ever been to six flags?
nope
42.Have you ever got beaten up?
nope
43. Do You Get Along Better With The Same Sex Or The opposite?
either or
44. Do you like mustard?
mm yes
45. Do You Sleep On Your Side, Stomach, Or Back?
stomach
46. Do You Watch The news?
yep
47. How Did You Get Only One Of Your Scars?
smacked my head into a wall when i was like three
48. Who Was The Last Person To Make You Mad?
haha. no comment.
49. Do you like anyone?
yeees!
50. What Is The Last Thing You Purchased?
DRUGS!!! or.. a water this morning.
Feb. 16th, 2007
06:49 pm
arizona in two days.. i can't freaking wait.. i need to get out of toronto, get my head clear, and actually attempt to see my future. i don't know what to expect. and that scares me. i'm hiding behind what i know and protecting myself. i'm sick of it. it's going to be a rough couple of months but i think i'll be okay. i hope i'll be okay. i should be okay.
Jan. 31st, 2007
01:12 am
Let's see if I can summarize..
tired..
don't want to study anymore..
don't know how the exam will go tommorow..
sick of being hungry..
need to have some fun..
hate the feeling of dependance..
want the feeling of dependance..
work tommorow is not appealing..
hope that thursday works out to my advantage.
Good night!
Jan. 26th, 2007
03:30 pm
i'm tired. just really stuck in the mould. i'm ready to kind of move on and do something more exciting with life. that's my biggest issue .. just being stuck in this mould of school and more school. i want time but i don't want time. i'm scared of being alone but i want to be alone. it's the hypocrisy of living. i'm never happy with what i have when i have it because there's always the aura of something else being out there. i feel like i'm settling but i'm not settling. and with that, i go to work.
Jan. 25th, 2007
01:43 am
i kinda wish life would just settle down a little bit but at the same time i kinda wish it wouldn't. i have issues. is it really too much to ask to figure out a date with my quasi boyfriend so we can have dinner? yeah it really is. life needs to settle down for us both. but we couldn't live with settled down lives. see the irony? i need sleep.
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